People We Miss

Krajcarski Family

 

Simply put, I’ll miss my mom and dad.
Unfortunately I already missed them before I left on this journey.

My mom goes back and forth between Mexico (way out of reach of the weekend visit) and Manitoulin Island (less out of reach but still reserved for a week long excursions and not a weekend family visit). It has been like for over a decade.
My dad retired not too long ago and returned with his wife back to Poland to his family there. Before leaving he had built a custom house to flip. This took up a great deal of time but I got to see him a little. But to be fair, before that I did not see him as much as I wished and I regret not putting in the effort.
My parents are very different from one another. Their interests, beliefs, ways of communicating and showing love, differ.
Like most people, a lot of my character and my likes are inspired by my parents.
My Dad;
My dad loved music and introduced me to it early on, and although I liked my own music throughout the teenage years, I eventually returned to the nostalgic tunes of my parents.
My dad is a master in the kitchen. Its when he seems happiest. His cooking is especially rewarding to me as he always prepares traditional Polish dishes I greatly missed since leaving home.
My dad isn’t an especially affectionate man. He lost his father when he was entering his teens and from what I know, before that, their relationship wasn’t strong or affectionate, just disciplinary. His manhood was clearly shaped by this.
Despite this deficit, I never really questioned wether he loves me or not, even though he is not quick to say it. And when he sees his grand kids his face comes alive and he genuinely loves their presence. My favourite pictures of my dad are when he’s with the them. He always has presents for them when they visit. I know they will miss him and his giant black dog, Baxter.
My dad has been through a few relationships that shaped who he is now, and in that context I have learned to appreciate, respect and love him the way a son should. I know that as I mature further into fatherhood that will only grow, my only wish is that I had more time to show it.
My Mom:
My mom took my brother and I in when my parents separated in my mid-teens. I was away from my father around the same time my dad lost his.
It was hard on her and we did not make the task of raising two rebellious boys any easier. We grew our hair long, listened to heavy metal and basically rejected her authority because without my father there, who is going to discipline us, this 100lbs woman?
I regret that, to say the least. She worked relentlessly to provide for us and made serious sacrifices.
Like my dad, she didn’t show her affection often in those years, but it was never in question. Her devotion showed her love.
Since I had kids she became more vocal. Never failing to say how much she loved and missed the whole family.
She couldn’t wait to see us next and spend some alone time with the kids, which afforded us many vacation weeks. I think it’s fair to say that she has made up for living so far away.
When you are growing up you don’t really appreciate the love and dedication of your parents. You too often look at other families and wish for what they have, failing to recognize what love looks like in your own parents.
Many times they would tell me that I would understand when I had my own kids.
Let’s just say they were right about many things, including this. As a parent of three little rebels myself,  I can now clearly see the love they had for me, even when it wasn’t clear back then.
Step-parents:
I wanted to make a note about my step parents. My dad remarried twice and my mom once.
My dad’s wife, Mirella, is a bit of a mystery to me. We didn’t spend much time together so I don’t truly know her well. When I had a falling out with my dad around the time Isla was born, she was instrumental in helping us reconcile. I’m thankful to her for that.
My mom’s husband was Brian. I say “was” because it was just a few months ago that he passed away from cancer. I was close to him and he was an energetic man full of ideas. He had a special way of making an impression on you that you couldn’t ignore. All of my friends liked him. Although he will never replace the affection I have from my dad, he certainly will hold a special place in my heart. I will miss him greatly.
This is my dad with the kids. Unfortunately I have no recent pictures with my mom. I'll have to remedy that.
This is my dad with the kids. Unfortunately I have no recent pictures with my mom. I’ll have to remedy that.

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