It’s been a while since I gave an update on my state of being. My last entry had me on the fringe of change. I wasn’t sure who I was and embracing this new role was proving very difficult for me. I wouldn’t suggest that me not writing for a while meant all those feelings have gone away, but I’ve been certainly better able to deal with them, thank you God.
I’ve been focusing more on prayer and less on my circumstances. It has helped and I know I’m just scratching the surface. I have a tremendously long way to go to understand and harness the full power of a prayerful life.
Prayer for me was very superficial, calculated and void of any real emotions. I could say the words but my heart wasn’t in it. I always prayed as if someone other than God was listening. It wrecked the experience for me. It was like I was talking to a distant God with an audience instead of a friend right next me with no one else around.