This last month has been an interesting time. I had been spared the distraction of trailer duties and travel concerns because when we arrived in Florida on December 4th, Ian, my friend from Brooklin, had a house ready for us to occupy. It allowed us to spread out and lounge. I was able to relax, do some reading and sort out my thoughts a bit.
It’s been a while since I gave an update on my state of being. My last entry had me on the fringe of change. I wasn’t sure who I was and embracing this new role was proving very difficult for me. I wouldn’t suggest that me not writing for a while meant all those feelings have gone away, but I’ve been certainly better able to deal with them, thank you God.
I’ve been focusing more on prayer and less on my circumstances. It has helped and I know I’m just scratching the surface. I have a tremendously long way to go to understand and harness the full power of a prayerful life.
Prayer for me was very superficial, calculated and void of any real emotions. I could say the words but my heart wasn’t in it. I always prayed as if someone other than God was listening. It wrecked the experience for me. It was like I was talking to a distant God with an audience instead of a friend right next me with no one else around.
We were driving to Atlantic Canada I was excited to spring up on the heels of my new found rejuvenation. After being sick on more than one front in Ottawa I was feeling better and had a new outlook on this time with my family and how to deal with the challenges. Also, the “reset” on my diet made me feel stronger. These feeling fade fast if not put into action, and the cravings also return.
It didn’t take too long before I was feeling some of those old stresses again. You don’t fix these things in a day, or week or even a month. I knew that even if I was hoping for a quick fix. In the past my fixes have been anything but quick.
Ottawa had presented a challenge for me. For the first time since leaving home I was overcome with hardship on several fronts. I had encountered a problem with the trailer, I needed to do a much needed repair on the truck hoping it would be covered under warranty, and I felt a sickness coming on.
It didn’t seem like much at the time because I was advised by the seller of my trailer that the repair was covered by this affiliate in Ottawa and that the trucks issue may also be covered under the Dodge warranty. So this little scratch in my throat should be a problem either, I thought. I would spend some time with my friends in Ottawa and be out of there in a couple of days.
Our journey began as we pulled away from our recently sold home on June 30th. It is now nearing the end of August and we still find ourselves in Brooklin, just miles from our old house. Although we sit here, patiently waiting but unable to get going for various reasons, the last 60 days have not been wasted.
We had made a test run to visit my mother on Manitoulin island, a “shakedown”, to determine how well our current set up for the truck and trailer will work out in a real travel situation, as well as the day-to-day chores we’d have to carry out.